Hinagiku Tears
by MistyRose14
Summary: An eighteen year old Mitsuki reflects on a wish for becoming more complete. [TakutoMitsuki, oneshot, and maybe AU]


**salut et quoi de neuf (hi and what's new)! i am surprised that i have never written a Full Moon wo Sagashite oneshot before...well, that's going to change now. so, here is ****Hinagiku Tears**** - part original songfic, reflection, and story at the end. i hope it wasn't too jumpy or doesn't blend (i wrote it on a 45 minute whim, so please excuse the grammar/spelling errors). Ayumi Hamasaki's song Evolution somewhat inspired it. read, review, and enjoy, s'il vous plaît!**

_**Hinagiku Tears**_

"_There is still the sensation of losing_

_Control of what is around me_

_But it's not the same_

_Nothing is like it was with you nearby_

_It's hard to think that you were just here_

_Because there is no proof"_

There's something calming about the night. It shrouds your flaws, gives you time to rest, and brings you back to reality - but it can also reveal your fears, leave you on edge, and create a lurid fantasy. I'm frozen between a familiar feeling, and an alien sensation. The worst part is…it might just be all in my head.

After all of my songs and lyrics are written down on paper, being released into the world, I can almost feel your gaze, softly showing approval. I miss that gaze. I wish you were here. Now, it always seems like I was too late, while you were too early. Why is it that we have to keep missing eachother like this? I want _us _to meet in the middle.

"_If I have enough faith_

_And wait patiently until the tears are done falling_

_We'll meet again in this world…_

_It will be like the first time I saw you"_

The dream - or memory, if it could be called that - keeps replaying itself each night. Each detail is emphasized; from the heat of your last embrace to the rapid breaths I took in. You would think that after six years, I would be ready to face this head on, and perhaps find some help. No…I don't want to let go. Not yet.

"_Please tell me that it wasn't purely coincidence_

_I know I wasn't supposed to see you_

_Yet I feel as if it was fate_

_Tying our lives together_

_There should be a place for only me and you_

_Wouldn't that bring some reassurance?"_

Every time my head hits the pillow, it begins all over again. It has become a part of me now, residing deep within my heart. I am prevented from moving forward, but time doesn't stop. The sense is similar to _suffocation_. I'm positive you didn't intend this for me…it's just the effect of what I felt for you.

I'll be in the middle of recording…and there will be a chill. Not a chill of dread, but one of presence. If I'm tired, my voice regains its strength from it, but most of the time, it is merely a reminder of how far I've come. Nothing will ever convince me to give up. I wouldn't be able to do that do you - to waste your help and love. People have told me how much more confident and sure I've become. In the back of my mind, I will always thank you, although I wish there was something else I could do.

"_If I can still hear your voice_

_And call back in return to let you know_

_You'll come back, I feel it…_

_It will be like the first time I saw you"_

I shot up in bed, abruptly, shaking as if an electric shock had entered my veins. The digital clock next to me read 3:22 in piercing red numbers. Rubbing my eyes, I scanned the dark atmosphere of my apartment. There were no unusual silhouettes around, and I flopped back onto the mattress. Rain tapped lightly at the windows, the sound being etched into my mind. It would be almost impossible to fall back asleep now.

"Mitsuki…"

_Huh?_ I sat up once more, paying deeper attention to the shadows in the corners of my bedroom. I shivered, gathering the covers that had fallen off of the side of my bed. After waiting for about a minute, I closed my eyes and sighed - it was all a figment of my imagination. I pinched my arm, wincing at the echoing pain. This was reality, and I was supposed to be by myself.

"_I didn't have anything_

_Neither did you_

_To keep me around longer_

_If we exist together_

_We can't be called 'alone'"_

"Mitsuki, will you stop kicking me!" I knew that voice.

_WHAT?! _I gasped, hopping out of bed and flicking off the lights. There, on the right side of my queen-size bed was Takuto, clearly exhausted and yawning.

He shielded his adjusting pupils from the light with his hand, and rolled over onto his side. "Jeez, could you let me sleep for a while longer?"

I couldn't believe it. _This _was real? How could it be, when _this _was one-hundred times different from my world five seconds ago?

"Mitsuki, go back to sleep." His voice, although a bit cranky, was softly commanding.

"I-I can't…"

"Why?"

"B-because you're h-here," I answered, feeling the color drain out of my skin. When I reached out to touch him, his arm was warm, giving off heat. Did that mean that he would stay?

"What? Do you want me to leave?" He shifted, ready to roll off the bed.

"No! Please don't!" I clung to his arm, and he rolled back onto the bed. _Don't ever leave me again…_ I silently pleaded.

"Will you be a good girl and go back to sleep?" He sighed, allowing my clingy habit for the night.

"Y-yes," I promised quietly.

"Don't worry, I'll tell you everything in the morning. Oh, and turn off the lights!"

"Yes…" The lights went off, enveloping the room in darkness. My wish had come true. But how - it didn't matter. This was what both of us wanted. To complete eachother and to find what was missing within us.

"This is the way it has to be," he whispered, his arm wrapping around me, keeping me safe. "It doesn't work if we're separated."

I didn't say anything, but nodded back, remembering that warmth, and recognizing my breath speed up. He was right - no song could replace this. It had to exist, with faith, music, and tears.

"_If I see what we've done_

_And realize that you are always drawn to me_

_We'll be reunited soon…_

_It will be like the first time I saw you"_

**_random babble_...alright, i hope it wasn't extremely strange. i just felt like writing, and isn't that when the best inspiration hits? also, thank goodness i'm a fast typer...whew. i'll put a note on my profile when my new Full Moon fanfic will be up! a bientôt et au revoir (see you soon and good-bye)!**


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